So tired

People get to like you because of what you have in common with them.

People get to admire you because of what you have but they don't.

Liking by others gives you happiness.

Admiration from others gives you power.

Which do you prefer? Happiness or Power?


When I was young, I was taught the saying by Francis Bacon that "Knowledge is power", where power was translated into "Li Liang"(Strength) in Chinese. So, I thought knowledge must be the force to make me strong. As I grow up, esp. since I came to the States this time, I gradually realized that knowledge does not necessarily make one strong, and sometimes it can screw you up. And, the word "power" should be more appropriately translated into "Quan Li"(Power). So I finally understand, that knowledge is the privilege to make me better off; the intangible capital to make my exploitation of others possible; and the reproduction of the serfdom within the meritocratic education system.


Some thoughts on orientalism.

I think the conventional view on orientalism refers to the looking down upon the "natives" through a "westerner's" perspective. So that's why some Han Chinese were labeled as "internal orientalist" because they sort of look down upon the Tibetan group, by assuming them barbarian, uncivil, only good at hunting and dancing. When defending themselves as not being orientalist, some western people say they themselves are not orientalists because they do not really see the Tibetan are backward. Instead, they idealize the reality on the plateau, project their own utopia in the secular time (Shangri La) onto the land of forbidden, and imagine people there as holy ones.

Well, I think this kind of looking "up" still "orientalist" because the orientalist argument to me is more about the unequal power relationship. As long as the power relation is not equal on the two sides, any view from each side on the other might be biased. And it is especially dangerous for the more powerful side to treat the less powerful one. Too much could be taken for granted. Similarly, that's why I'm always very cautious about the claimed sympathy for the rural peasants or migrant workers from the urban elites in China. For many cases, those who are better off feel sorry about the sufferings and express their sympathy but do not mean it. They do that only because by doing so, they can identify with their own interest group, reinforce their feelings of being privileged and blessed unconsciously. And it is in this way, sympathy is in fact hypocrisy, and philanthropy a mean of spiritual exploit.

Why do I become so cynical? I don't want to explain.